Planning for a family move, even if it is just down the road, can be very stressful, and it can feel like an infinite list of things to do. However, when we talk about relocating to a foreign country, it is a whole new level of stress. It can seem exhausting to deal with language barriers, cultural disparities, and never-ending paperwork. It can be very easy to lose sight of what matters most – how to better prepare your children for their upcoming move overseas.
Here, we look at how you can prepare your children for a big move overseas.
Make sure that they know their feelings are valid
Your children are feeling all of the same emotions as you are during this trip. Yes, they may be too young to comprehend the full magnitude of what your relocation overseas entails or the effect it will have on their lives. However, their fear and uncertainty about the future should not be overlooked.
Some parents believe that focusing solely on the positive aspects of the transition will help their children forget about any worries that they may have, but this is just not the case. Any and all feelings your children may have about moving to another country should be identified and talked about so that they know the emotions that feel are valid. You do not have to over explain things, justify or defend your actions; just listen and support them and not write the way they feel off.
Try to take them for a visit to the new country before you move
Sometimes, it can be the fear of the unknown that is the hardest thing to deal with. If you can, try to pay a visit to the country that you are moving to beforehand so that they can build up a picture in their mind as to what it will look like. Of course, this involves significant costs – plane tickets, things like visas or ETSA’s, which you will need to find out more about them and the cost of finding somewhere to stay. While you are there, you could use the time to do things like find out about and visit new schools, any local amenities or clubs that the children might enjoy and make a list of new restaurants that you all want to try once you have made the move.
Consider their interests
What are your children interested in? Perhaps it is football, or basketball, or gymnastics? Take one of their passions and make it your mission to find something that will accommodate it in the new country. Maybe there is a sport they have always wanted to try – cheerleading, for example, is not a big thing in Europe but if you are moving to America, you will almost definitely be able to find a club there for beginners. By doing this, you give them something exciting and positive about the upcoming move to focus on.
Look at learning the language
Of course, if you are native English speakers and are moving to another English speaking country such as Australia or the United States, this is not a big deal, but if you are moving to a country that speaks a different language, getting a heads start and learning a few key phrases before you go can make it seem a little less daunting and can be a lot of fun. Try learning phrases such as ‘hello’, ‘goodbye’ and ‘please and thankyou’ and maybe learn to count to ten. If you do this as a family, it can be a wonderful bonding exercise. Most libraries have audiobooks and CD’s that you can borrow, or use a mobile app such as Duo Lingo and make it a bit competitive!
Look at building relationships
One of the most helpful things that anyone can have when they move to somewhere new, no matter how old or confident or excited they are is to have a familiar face to support them. Of course, if you are moving long-distance, face to face meetings may not be possible beforehand, but you can strike up an online relationship with someone in the local community before you go. Look at joining local Facebook groups. Perhaps ask if any of your new work colleagues have any children the same or similar age to your own to become pen pals with or talk over Zoom with. Just knowing the name of a person can make it all seem a little less scary for a child – and an adult.
